I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
