Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
