i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
