Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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