do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
