So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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