when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so let's talk penis.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
