What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
