Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
