Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
