Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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