Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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