you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
