Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize