i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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