I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
how drunk are you?
Several
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
