I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
