you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
