Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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