I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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