I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize