Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
