Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
