my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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