How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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