He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize