weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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