just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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