Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
