We're facebook friends in real life
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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