Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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