At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize