So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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