It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
