I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
