Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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