Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
