you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
how drunk are you?
Several
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
