Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
