i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
