man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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