i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This is my gift to your gina
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
