Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
