I'm going to rape someone's good day.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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