You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
