does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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