he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you traded sex for a burrito?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
