Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
