I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize