bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
