I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
