Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize