Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
