I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
