I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
