I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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