that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
