just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
