Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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