I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
