i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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