Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
