Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
