everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
